Hello, My Friend, It Sure Has Been Awhile

(For those of you playing along at home, YES.  I did just title this blog post with the first line of a legendary Nelson song. You are welcome to worship me.)

So, holy crap.  Having 2 kids is WAY more time consuming than having one.  It's exponential, not double.  Yes, all of you who have 2 children are saying, "Duh."  I do not know how parents of 3 or more children function.  Now that Henry is 4 months old, I thought it was time to get back in the swing of my blog. 

First, the First Grader. 
Ben.  Ben. Ben.  Ben who has already racked up 4 sick days this quarter and will have number 5 tomorrow.  We made it all the way through Kindergarten without a single illness.  This year?  Strep and a stomach virus.  I think he must be kissing more girls or something....

He likes learning his spelling words each week and is a wiz at math (clearly genetic from his father, not his mother).  This week, we found out that Ben needs reading glasses.  He looks very handsome but much older.  He's not thrilled with the idea, but I think he'll come around.  I hope.  There are few things more stubborn than Ben when he makes up his mind...

Then, the Benevolent Dictator known as "Henry". He is darling.  And, I'm starting to see a little bit of resemblance to his big brother.  His recent accomplishments include rolling over from back to front, playing in his exersaucer, and "eating"
 rice cereal.  Most of all, he kills time with me until Ben comes home from school each day.  He thinks Ben is the coolest, funniest, best thing ever.  The rest of us are just here for decoration. 

I have said to several people that it's a good thing Ben was first or there wouldn't have been a second.  Don't get me wrong, I love Henry, but whoooooooo doggies is he high strung.  He likes things how he likes them when he likes them.  I have absolutely NO IDEA where that comes from.  (Although my mom did say, "I think Hank is going to be more like you."  Ummmm...yeah.)

"But, Heather," you say, "What do you do with your days? I mean, you don't WORK..."  When I'm not enjoying sitting on the couch eating bon bons, I'm the room parent for Ben's classroom, heading up a couple of committees for the PTA (aren't you surprised?), attending Stroller Strides classes with Henry, and spending lots of time in the evenings wondering where the hell the day has gone.  I am also catching up on television programming from 1 to 4AM since Henry frequently wakes up to visit in the middle of the night.  I'm sure I do other things, but I honestly am thinking, "hmmm...  What DO I do all day?  Facebook? Well, not ALL day. I drive. A lot.  I yell at people in the school parking lot. Hmmmmmm..." 

Flattery will get you nowhere

This morning as he was getting dressed, Ben was checking out my belly.  He squinted his eyes, pursed his lips, and then said the following:

B: Mom?  Your belly is like a yo-yo.  You know, it's round and it's gone WAAAAAYYYY out, but it'll go back again.

H: Gee, thanks.  I think. 

B: (looks a little closer) Actually, Mom?  I think it's more like a boomerang because it's going to take a LONG, LONG time to come back. 

Nesting may be contagious

So, we've been home from Spring Break long enough for me to not remember how long we've been home. But, about 2 days after we got back, I made some comment about how "after spring break" we really needed to get serious about getting the baby's room ready.

As in, "We need to clean out 10+ years worth of accumulated crap in the office, take down the desk, haul anything we're keeping to storage, get the water damage/hole in the ceiling fixed, repair a couple of holes in the walls, paint the room, prime and paint the trim, paint the ceiling, install a new light fixture, make sure we have the hardware for the crib, get the crib from my parents' basement, order the bedding, and, and, and...." Then, I said, "If Ben is going to get bunk beds, maybe he'd like new sheets, a new comforter, and heck, we should probably paint his entire room, too. Oh, and those are being delivered in a little over a week, so we'd need to hurry."

Sure. Why not. Because I've never been in better physical shape and I can stay awake for hours and hours working on such things. I have a keen sense of balance and nothing will prevent me from bending over to paint and moving heavy objects. And, Don? He's home ALL THE TIME, so we should definitely take on a couple of house projects that we'd like done yesterday.

But, guess what? We're 99.9% finished with Ben's total room makeover (which included covering up "baby" yellow walls, trim, and ceiling). Only the trim is left to paint and that would have been done today if I could have gotten the darn paint can open. The holes in the wall in the baby's room have all been patched and primed. We've chosen the paint color, the bedding has arrived, the crib is ready, and we've HIRED a delightful human to fix the ceiling and paint the room.

This all comes with a minimal amount of crying, tantrums, emergency trips to the chiropractor, or sudden panic attacks. Ben is THRILLED with his new room (I'll post pictures soon). I feel all warm and fuzzy that the baby's room has been transformed from a disorganized, rarely used office into a space that will be perfect for a new baby.


All this activity has really kicked my nesting urge into high gear. Now, truth be told, I've always been a little OCD about certain things. I like the towels to be straight on the hook. I use a hand towel to wipe off the counters and sink and "tidy up" in a hotel before the maids come in each day. I have yelled at my child to get out of my fresh vacuum tracks.

Evidently, nesting isn't just for mommies. For the past two days, Ben has taken time each morning to painstakingly make his bed and then smooth his comforter so that all the stripes are perfectly straight. This morning, I watched him move a pillow three different times to make sure it was in just the right spot. I should be more than a little horrified, but I'm more than a little amused and proud. Maybe there's even hope for others in the family. The dog will start willingly wiping her paws when she comes in the house. The cat will begin only shedding over a trash can. And, maybe Don will catch a little nesting from me and finally understand why I'm so obsessed with wiping down the stainless steel sink in the kitchen anytime we run water so that it looks like it's never used. Maybe not.

Cold

B: Can I have a Popsicle before lunch?
H: No. You may have one after lunch.
B: Come on. Is there no love in your heart? I thought there was some love in there, but I guess not.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Happy snow day! We're all settling in for some nasty winter weather. We got out today before the snow really hit and plan to spend tomorrow watching movies, playing Wii Fit, and making cookies....and snuggling on the couch with a furry friend.

Monday with Mommy: Sights and Sounds of the Zoo

After I got home from piano lessons/tutoring this morning, Ben and I decided to head to the zoo. It was $1 kid admission day AND it was only 80ish degrees outside. We had a great afternoon! It also reminded me that I am a "boy mom."

After a promise that there would be snacks at the zoo, Ben was willing to head to the zoo. He also needed assurance that there would be some sort of passive transportation because his legs would be tired if he had to walk around the zoo. So, a rented wagon and a smoothie in the first 15 minutes after we arrived were in order.

A few highlights:
Butts
B: (with a glimmer in his eye) Mom? What is that pink part on the baboon?
H: That's the baboon's bottom.
B: (big grin) Bottom of what?
H: His tushie.
B: His BUTT? Gross.

Burps and Farts
Hippo: RRRRAAAAARRRRRRR or UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH (however you spell the sound a hippo makes)
B: Holy cow. That hippo just burped.
The hippo went back underwater and bubbles came out of his nose
B: Awww..man. Now he farted. That's a gassy hippo. What did he eat?

Poop
B: WOAH! Look at the size of the elephant poop. Wow (complete awe).

To be fair, I think Ben comes by these observations naturally. Even after 20+ years, my most vivid memory of going to the Omaha Zoo in 1st grade is that one gorilla peed on a carrot and the other gorilla picked it up and ate it. (And, it still makes me giggle.)

Getting Old

An unintended side effect of all this talk about big kids and growing up is that Ben has become preoccupied with death and the effects of aging. He's very concerned with the relationship between his age and our ages. If he's getting big, then we're getting OLD.

B: Mom? When I grow up, will you be REALLY old?
H: I'll be older. Like Mimi.
B: But, Mom. When you get very, very old, we'll have to put you in a grave because you'll be dead.


The first time we had this conversation, Ben cried. I got teary. It was very Love You Forever (remember that freaking picture book? Jeez.). Now, he asks with a glimmer in his eye as if he's contemplating what will be served at the death banquet after he finishes putting me in a grave.

The "death talk" has cropped up several times in the last few months. When we asked a few questions of our own, we found out SpongeBob Squarepants had an episode where he dreamt that Mr. Crabs was old and dead and they had to bury him. Good grief. I knew I never liked that stinking SpongeBob.

I don't know what Ben watched to bring up his other "old person" obsession. While he was staying with my parents a couple of weekends ago, he climbed up in my mom's lap and had the following conversation:

B: Mimi? Are you old?
M: Well, I'm older than your mom.
B: Awww, Mimi, you're really, really old. Look at your elbows. They're all wrinkly.
(Background noise of my dad laughing hysterically.) Mimi, look... you've got the girl disease.
M: What? The girl disease?
B: Yes. The girl disease. It gives you wrinkles. It's just horrible.

Fast forward to Thursday night when I was tucking Ben into bed. He wanted me to snuggle him (for the sole purpose of getting the cat to stay on his bed for a few minutes-- she'll only snuggle with backup). So, there we were, cozy and quiet. I was just beginning to think that it had been awhile since he'd wanted me to tuck him in...
B: Mom?
H: What, Love?
B: Let me see your elbow.
H: My elbow?
B: Yes. Well...your elbow is kinda tricky. I'll just check your face. (carefully pushing and pulling and poking my face)
H: Check for what?
B: Girl disease. Mom, you just have a little girl disease. It's going to get worse. You're getting old.
H: Good night, Ben. (I left his room and headed straight to the bathroom for an in-depth study of my "girl disease" in the mirror.)

Not a Baby

Ben is catching on to the idea that he's now a "big kid going to Kindergarten". It must be from all the recent instances of, "if you're a big kid who is going to Kindergarten, then you can...." or "big kids who go to Kindergarten always....". It's getting all kinds of things done around the house from handwriting to cleaning up toys.

A few other instances of big kid-ness:

* On a recent play date, we arrived at Riley's house and Ben told me to stay in the car. He let me know that he could 'handle it". He unbuckled his seat belt, pushed the button on the automatic door, walked to their door, rang the bell, and let himself inside. He didn't even turn around to say goodbye. (I hope he'll let me walk him to the door on the first day of Kindergarten, but I won't hold my breath.)

* Last week, Ben had the choice between going to the gym with Don or going to the bookstore with me. He thought about it for awhile and said, "Dad. After much deliberation, I've decided to go with Mommy." (Better yet--- he knew what it meant. When I asked, he said, "it's thinking about something until you decide.")

* Can I get a little personal? He's wiping his butt. Hooray and hallelujah. (He's gonna love this post when he's 20.)

* This morning, after I gave him a kiss, he said, "Mom. No more kissing. I'm done with kissing you. Babies and little kids kiss their mommies." (Ugh. Rip my heart out. But, you know all it is going to do is make me kiss him more. In public. With lipstick.)

Jiggle Jam: Day One

This weekend, we are spending Saturday and Sunday at Jiggle Jam, a children's music festival at Crown Center. Ben liked the music, but really enjoyed the bounce houses, snacks, and the fountains. Here are pictures from our first day.

Raiding the Pantry

This morning, I found evidence of a 30+ pound "mouse" that has been helping himself to items in the pantry. First, it was the bag of marshmallows--opened and shoved on the bottom shelf next to the cereal. Then, I found a box of Girl Scout cookies that was opened, with one ENTIRE SLEEVE of cookies missing...just the wrapper was left in the box.

Just as I was about to mention this "mouse" to Ben, I looked in the kitchen to see his behind peeking out from the pantry. He had climbed in to stand on the bottom shelf and then pulled the door almost all the way closed while he ransacked the snacks. I guess I'll spend part of this rainy day reorganizing the pantry.

Say What?

Just in time for spring, it's another installment of "Ben Says".

Last night, while we were out at dinner, the server brought our bill and jokingly handed it to Ben:
B: What am I supposed to do with this? Make a paper airplane?

This morning while watching cartoons:
B: That freaks me out. It gives me the "shitters".
H: What?
B: The "shitters".
H: Do you mean the "shivers"?
B: Nope. Not when you're cold.
D: Uhhhh...
H: Yeah, the "shivers" when you're cold or scared.
B: Nope. It's the "shitters". You know... like you do when you're really freaked out. You get the "shitters."
D: Right. ShiVVVVVVers.
H: Well, technically, you're both right...
B: Yeah. When you put your fingers in your mouth and look worried... the "shitters."

Easter Eggs (Part 1)

Good grief. I was all set to dye Easter eggs with Ben this afternoon while Don is enjoying the Royal's home opener. I got Ben all whipped into a frenzy about how much fun we'd have with the egg kits I bought--- nothing says "Easter" like Transformers. Anyway, I explained the process, that we'd boil the eggs, let them cool, put the dye tablets in containers, add vinegar and water, watch them fizz, then dip the eggs. The promise of this fantastic event even bought me time to do our taxes uninterrupted. Then I realized.... I bought the same eggs I always buy. Free-range, tree-hugging-hippie-local farm-BROWN eggs. 2 dozen. BROWN eggs. Guess before we boil the eggs, we'll go to the store for white ones.

And, what am I going to do with 4 dozen eggs? Lots of omelets, quiches, egg salad, deviled eggs, etc. in our future. Have I mentioned that I don't even really like eggs? Stupid hippie hens.

Spring Snow

Ben finally got the snow he's been asking for since January. Even though it was still snowing pretty hard, we made the most of it this afternoon with sledding, snow angels, and a snowman.

With great power comes great responsibility

The only downside to Ben dressing himself? Today at 5PM, I realized he's been wearing the same Spiderman underwear for 3 days.

Knight of the Panther

This weekend, Ben was invited to his friend Darby's birthday party. His girl friend Darby's princess party. His girl friend Darby's DRESS UP princess party. Luckily we had a knight costume in the dress up box, so Ben dressed in his knightly best and headed to the party. Darby's mom has a face painting business, so she put the finishing touches on his costume.
Part of me wishes those were his real eyebrows.

Today at school, the class celebrated the letter "P" by having a Pajama day. A Pajama day with Pancakes. A Pajama day with Pancakes and face Painting. Ben chose to celebrate Pajama Day with Pancakes and face Painting by turning into a Panther.

What you Get

In true "Rainman" fashion, many activities in Ben's life revolve around the same process/procedure every time. For example, eating lunch at Planet Sub. The routine is always the same. We order, we sit at a table (he has a "table" in each Planet Sub in the city), we wait. We eat. Ben uses a million napkins simply because he likes the novelty of pulling them out of the napkin dispenser on the table. Over a month ago (and after the 10th napkin), I said, "Dude. Cool it with the napkins. You're killing trees."

Yesterday, we went to Planet Sub near Tae Kwon Do (table in the back on an elevated platform near the soda machine). The routine was going along as usual when all of the sudden, Ben stopped.

B: Mom? Why do I kill trees when I use lots of napkins.
H: Because trees give us paper and these napkins are made of paper. So, when we use lots of napkins, the logging companies have to cut down more trees (yeah, I said that. I'm a tree hugging hippie, remember?)
B: Oh.
Several minutes pass and I can tell Ben is thinking carefully. We continue to eat and then tilts his head to the side and looks confused
B: So, dogs give us nothing?

As someone who often says seemingly random things out loud, I totally appreciated his inner monologue, which probably went like this:
Trees give us paper.
Cows give us milk.
Chickens give us eggs.
Target gives us toys.
Costco gives us snacks.
Dogs give us........... uh..........hmmmmm.....

Yuck

Ben has a new pet. Nope, it's not another dog. Not a cat, either. Not a fish or a bird or a gerbil ('cause, frankly...ewww.). This pet doesn't need food or water and is acclimating to life in our house well. Internet, my son has a brand new piece of armpit lint that he fished out of his bath last night.
You heard me. Armpit lint. From the bath. Saved from the swirling vortex of the draining water only to need a rapid rescue from the bathroom floor. Ben named his lint, "Yuck." The details, available at this time are as follows:

* Yuck is a boy.
* Yuck began life as a fuzzy navy blue hoodie. He was from the land of "armpit-ia."
* To keep Yuck safe, he lives in a small, round Gladware container with lid firmly secured.
* Yuck is terrified of the dark. Last night, he needed a large, shop-sized flashlight to illuminate his container when Ben went to bed.


Photos coming soon along with requests for recommendations for a nice psychiatrist for preschoolers.

The Barfs

It was last week around this time that "the barfs" came to stay for a long weekend. I was their sole host (thank goodness). This meant that Ben had lots of opportunities to earn that pony we've been promising since before he was born, Don got to be a single parent while trying to avoid exposure to the typhoid that was living the the bedroom, and I finally got 2 uninterrupted days of peace and quiet. Be careful what you wish for!

Ben was such a good boy on Friday after school. I explained that I had GERMS. Germs that would make him BARF. Did he want to barf? 'Cause, if so, feel free to come close to Mommy. Kiss her. Have a sip of water from her class. If not, stay in the other room and play quietly. That's just what he did. From 2:30 until Don got home at 5, Ben watched TV, got himself his own snacks, and even cleaned up after himself. Every once in a while, he'd holler, "Mom? You still have the barfs?" I'd say, "Yes." He'd yell, "Ok. That's pretty gross. I'll see you later."

In my fog of barf and contemplating death, I'm not really sure what Don and Ben did Saturday and Sunday. All I know, is that they stayed away from my germs.

Here are a few funny quotes from the weekend:
B: Mommy? Your barfs are bad news. You need to get 'em gone.

Saturday, when he was checking in on me..
B: Know what? Your barfs are the bad guys. They are powerful, but I'm more powerful-er. Open your mouth, Mom.
H: Honey, no. Mommy has germs.
B: OPEN IT.
H: Ok... (opens mouth)
B: (as if performing an exorcism) GO AWAY YOU BAD, BAD BARFS. YOU ARE NO GOOD. GET OUT OF MY MOM'S MOUTH. There. Now you'll be better.

On Sunday, I finally felt good enough to try real food so we went to Dragon Inn for Chinese.
As we were leaving...
B: Mom, if we go to dinner, you can't barf on the floor. Ok?
H: Ok. I won't.
B: I'm serious, Mom. It's gross to barf in public.
H: I'll do my best.

2009

Internet, it's time to get back in a routine. Not the old one where we woke up late, Ben and I snarled and fought to get ready to head out the door to only be 10 minutes late for school, but a new one. A new routine marked with earlier bedtimes, actual breakfasts, pleasant departures and drops-off (drop-offs?) at school. We will all be a little more sane because of it.

2009 has begun with some new challenges, a few of which I'm not handling as gracefully as I'd like, but tomorrow is another day. 2009 is promising, too... If for no other reason than to force myself to put a positive spin on the changes and challenges, I'll list a few here.

* Ben is increasingly independent. At some point over break, it was almost like having a roommate instead of a "pet." He takes care of his business, gets his own snacks, and even cleans up after himself. Now if we can just encourage him to stop asking us to "check his crack." Baby steps.

* In addition to his independence, Ben is a good friend. I've had the opportunity to watch him interact with kids he knows and kids he has just met and he is caring, thoughtful, and funny. There are many things I expect from Ben and want him to accomplish. Most of all, I want him to be a good person and a good friend. It's nice to see that we're on the right track.

* I am looking forward to training for my first full marathon--- Lincoln, Nebraska in May. After that, I'm going to tackle the KC Hospital Hill half marathon in June. I'll begin my racing season with the Groundhog Run in late-January.

* We're working hard to make healthier choices in 2009. Better food, consistent exercise, more sleep. We're even enlisting the pets. Abby is my new running companion and all 3 critters enjoy an early bedtime.

Here's hoping these changes make 2009 the best year yet.

Sick as a cat?

Ben has been sick since Wednesday night. Even Gertie feels bad for him and allowed a rare snuggle.