...It's a Trip (Part 2)

As we wait for our frog pool to fill (yes, it's inflatable. yes, we've proudly placed it in the front yard. and, yes, it's on the grass. Don will probably have a heart attack because it is undoubtedly mashing the wonder that is our lawn), I'll begin filling you in on the highlights from our week at the lake.

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle vs. The Happy Fisherman: Since they were the featured Happy Meal toy this spring, Ben has had an obsession with the Ninja Turtles. Right now, the blue guy (Leonardo) is his favorite. I think it's mainly due to the fact that Leonardo has not one, but two weapons... big swords. Now that you have the background, here's the real story.

On Sunday, Kristin and I went to the outlet mall ALONE (cheers! and applause!). While we were there I mentioned that I'd rather eat toenails than return to The Happy Fisherman (a local dive that Don and Nate LOVE.... mainly for their Long Island Iced Teas and the boat motors that serve as decor.). She agreed and I began thinking about how we could avoid the place. The next day, while on the boat, Nate brought up going there for dinner. Then, it came to me...

H: Ben, tell Daddy and Nate that The Happy Fisherman is gross. It has poo poo germs.
B: The Happy Fisherman is GROSS! It has poo poo germs. YUCK!

D/N: No, it doesn't have poo poo germs. It's good. You'd like it.
B: NO way.
D: Ben, do you want to have a yummy dinner at The Happy Fisherman? Tell mommy.

(Brace yourself... massive bribery just ahead...)
H: Ben. If we don't go to The Happy Fisherman, we'll go to Target and get a new ninja turtle. Any one you want.
B: EVEN THE BLUE GUY?
H: Of course! Even the blue guy. But, we can't go to The Happy Fisherman for dinner.
B: Daddy, I not going to The Happy Fisherman. I want a blue guy ninja turtle.
D (to H): You are evil.
So, that's how a ninja turtle saved me from The Happy Fisherman. We went out for Mexican food and then went to Target for a Ninja Turtle. They even had a blue guy with swords. It was meant to be.

* Dragon Cookies: On Tuesday afternoon, we went to the grocery store as one big, happy family. Right as we walked in, Ben spotted a table of cookie sandwiches (frosting in the middle and all over the top). Wanting to get through the shopping experience as quickly as possible, I let him choose a box and promised he could have one as soon as we got home. Here's the cookie:

See all that yummy green frosting? He's analyzing his plan of attack:

He goes in for the kill:
Mom decides that green frosting is not going to be a good thing to try to clean out of clothing, so we make a quick wardrobe change.. I think it really enhanced the experience:

Mmmm... green frosting. I swear his hands and face had a strange "Wicked Witch of the West" tinge for the rest of vacation. (That bruise on his forehead? That would be from the ninja moves in a McDonald's playland.)

*Hot Rocks: On Wednesday, I went to Spa Shiki at the Lodge of the Four Seasons for a little rejuvenation. I chose the "hot stone massage" because it just sounded like a good thing. Here's the description from the spa's website: The ultimate in peace and relaxation. Smooth Japanese river stones are heated, dipped in essential oils and applied to the body using long fluid strokes. The stones' heat penetrates deep into the muscles, leaving your body relaxed and tension free. It was so relaxing, I almost didn't have the energy to go back to the car. Now THAT'S relaxing. I can't wait for a girls' weekend there to celebrate Katie's and my 30th birthday next spring.

*Mini-van with a bathroom: Totally opposite of a "hot rocks" experience... On Friday, Ben's little body must have maxed out on lake water (probably from opening his mouth WIDE and licking the water every time he had a chance). His body began to revolt. I've never seen such panic in his eyes as he'd say, "Mommy.. I need to go poo poo, NOW!" Which brings me to the other thing I learned as a parent on this TRIP: When you gotta go, you gotta go.

So your kid strips half-naked and sits on a potty seat in your van with the door open on the side of the road in the 500 degree heat. It's no big deal. Even if in your former life you were grossed out by spitting. Not only will you stand there with the kid and sing songs from the movie "Cars", you'll resourcefully use bottled water and Clorox wipes to clean the seat and you won't even feel guilty for dumping its contents in some farmer's field. (Now THAT is the story they should tell teen-agers to scare them out of having sex. "If you have sex, you'll end up dumping your kid's poop in a field.....and it won't even gross you out."

Now that it's almost 5 hours since I started working on this blog entry, I'm done for today. Lauren came over and had a skinny dipping party with Ben (tune in for pics tomorrow), the pool has been emptied, toys have been put away, and the grass? Well, the grass will recover.