The Company You Keep

I am beginning to think that Amy is a BAD INFLUENCE. I mean, first it was the porn* for my birthday... and then, on Thursday, she introduced me to Elvis Edition Reese's Peanut Butter & Banana Candy. Remember my Easter infatuation with the Cadbury eggs? This goes WAAAAYYYYY beyond that. I made a special trip to K-Mart (the only place I know of that carries them) today just for a bag. Good news? They were 2 for $5.00. (I spent $10.) I strongly suggest that you rush out to get some before they are gone.... that is if there are any left after I stockpile an appropriate amount for myself.


* Because now I know you're dying from the curiosity.. the porn for my birthday? A hilarious book called "Porn for Women". My favorite page is a picture of a guy reading the sports page (all his clothes are on--- it's not really porn-y porn). The caption says, "Ooh, look, the NFL playoffs are today. I bet we'll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair."

Summer Days

Oh, to be young and uninhibited (or have moms that are just too lazy to hassle with swimming suits) again.

...It's a Trip (Part 2)

As we wait for our frog pool to fill (yes, it's inflatable. yes, we've proudly placed it in the front yard. and, yes, it's on the grass. Don will probably have a heart attack because it is undoubtedly mashing the wonder that is our lawn), I'll begin filling you in on the highlights from our week at the lake.

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle vs. The Happy Fisherman: Since they were the featured Happy Meal toy this spring, Ben has had an obsession with the Ninja Turtles. Right now, the blue guy (Leonardo) is his favorite. I think it's mainly due to the fact that Leonardo has not one, but two weapons... big swords. Now that you have the background, here's the real story.

On Sunday, Kristin and I went to the outlet mall ALONE (cheers! and applause!). While we were there I mentioned that I'd rather eat toenails than return to The Happy Fisherman (a local dive that Don and Nate LOVE.... mainly for their Long Island Iced Teas and the boat motors that serve as decor.). She agreed and I began thinking about how we could avoid the place. The next day, while on the boat, Nate brought up going there for dinner. Then, it came to me...

H: Ben, tell Daddy and Nate that The Happy Fisherman is gross. It has poo poo germs.
B: The Happy Fisherman is GROSS! It has poo poo germs. YUCK!

D/N: No, it doesn't have poo poo germs. It's good. You'd like it.
B: NO way.
D: Ben, do you want to have a yummy dinner at The Happy Fisherman? Tell mommy.

(Brace yourself... massive bribery just ahead...)
H: Ben. If we don't go to The Happy Fisherman, we'll go to Target and get a new ninja turtle. Any one you want.
B: EVEN THE BLUE GUY?
H: Of course! Even the blue guy. But, we can't go to The Happy Fisherman for dinner.
B: Daddy, I not going to The Happy Fisherman. I want a blue guy ninja turtle.
D (to H): You are evil.
So, that's how a ninja turtle saved me from The Happy Fisherman. We went out for Mexican food and then went to Target for a Ninja Turtle. They even had a blue guy with swords. It was meant to be.

* Dragon Cookies: On Tuesday afternoon, we went to the grocery store as one big, happy family. Right as we walked in, Ben spotted a table of cookie sandwiches (frosting in the middle and all over the top). Wanting to get through the shopping experience as quickly as possible, I let him choose a box and promised he could have one as soon as we got home. Here's the cookie:

See all that yummy green frosting? He's analyzing his plan of attack:

He goes in for the kill:
Mom decides that green frosting is not going to be a good thing to try to clean out of clothing, so we make a quick wardrobe change.. I think it really enhanced the experience:

Mmmm... green frosting. I swear his hands and face had a strange "Wicked Witch of the West" tinge for the rest of vacation. (That bruise on his forehead? That would be from the ninja moves in a McDonald's playland.)

*Hot Rocks: On Wednesday, I went to Spa Shiki at the Lodge of the Four Seasons for a little rejuvenation. I chose the "hot stone massage" because it just sounded like a good thing. Here's the description from the spa's website: The ultimate in peace and relaxation. Smooth Japanese river stones are heated, dipped in essential oils and applied to the body using long fluid strokes. The stones' heat penetrates deep into the muscles, leaving your body relaxed and tension free. It was so relaxing, I almost didn't have the energy to go back to the car. Now THAT'S relaxing. I can't wait for a girls' weekend there to celebrate Katie's and my 30th birthday next spring.

*Mini-van with a bathroom: Totally opposite of a "hot rocks" experience... On Friday, Ben's little body must have maxed out on lake water (probably from opening his mouth WIDE and licking the water every time he had a chance). His body began to revolt. I've never seen such panic in his eyes as he'd say, "Mommy.. I need to go poo poo, NOW!" Which brings me to the other thing I learned as a parent on this TRIP: When you gotta go, you gotta go.

So your kid strips half-naked and sits on a potty seat in your van with the door open on the side of the road in the 500 degree heat. It's no big deal. Even if in your former life you were grossed out by spitting. Not only will you stand there with the kid and sing songs from the movie "Cars", you'll resourcefully use bottled water and Clorox wipes to clean the seat and you won't even feel guilty for dumping its contents in some farmer's field. (Now THAT is the story they should tell teen-agers to scare them out of having sex. "If you have sex, you'll end up dumping your kid's poop in a field.....and it won't even gross you out."

Now that it's almost 5 hours since I started working on this blog entry, I'm done for today. Lauren came over and had a skinny dipping party with Ben (tune in for pics tomorrow), the pool has been emptied, toys have been put away, and the grass? Well, the grass will recover.

Don't call it a VACATION (part 1)

Stuff I Know Now That I'm a Parent #1,124,626: If you take the kid, it's not VACATION, it's a TRIP.

We spent last week at the Lake of the Ozarks in a condo/house Don has been visiting since he was young. Don and I vacationed there before we had Ben and traveled there once when Ben was still a baby. It's a annual trip we can use like a growth chart--- where we were, where we are now... ways our child can manipulate us... that sort of thing. It was great to get away from our usual routines and to spend some time together.

Some highlights from the trip (part 1):

* Ben stayed up until at least 11:30 each night. Mommy decided that the change in scenery meant he could watch DVD's in bed until he fell asleep. About 3 nights into the trip, it somehow became a movie with snack and beverage service. (I'm happy to report that, with the exception of bedTIME, our routine has returned to pre-trip status. Still going to bed WAY later than is acceptable for a toddler, but we're working on it.)


* Since he's been going to the lake since he was little, our trips are always full of tradition for Don. Go-Karts, Skee-Ball at the Dam, The Happy Fisherman (BARF..more on that later), etc.. This year, Don and Nate decided to take the boys (Ben and Will) to ride Go-Karts. Will, being older and taller, loved every minute. Ben loved waiting in line, getting into the kart, buckling his seat belt, and about 30 seconds of the ride. Evidently, on a turn, "Daddy drived CRAZY" and "BUMPED ME INTO THE SIDE". The next thing I knew, Don was making a final pit stop and Ben was making a speedy exit.

Daddy, I'm gonna be "McQueen". We're gonna go SO FAST!!

Still pretty confident. Of course, they haven't moved yet...

They LOOK like they're going to have a good time...

For the rest of the week, anytime we'd drive by a Go-Kart track or anyone would mention them, Ben would get a look of panic and say, "I NOT BIG ENOUGH. Maybe when I grow and grow. 'Dough-Karts' are TOOOOOO scary."

* The one event Ben loved and couldn't get enough of was swimming... pool, lake, enormous bathtub in the master bathroom... it didn't matter. As long as he had "fwoaties" (floaties) or a "boat coat" (lifejacket) and his "fwirters" (squirters-- water guns), the kid was as happy as, well, a fish in water.

Notice the fancy, double-handed squirter action

Right before we jumped in, Ben said, "Mommy. Go jump in the lake."
Luckily, he meant it literally and not figuratively. At least I don't think he did...

* On Wednesday, I think the rock star lifestyle started to catch up to him. In the middle of a swimming excursion, Ben asked to go back to the house with me. When we arrived, he laid down on the floor and burst into tears. When I finally got him to tell me what was wrong he said, "I need my jammies. I need to take a big rest." This from the child who gave up naps and who cries like a banshee anytime we mention leaving the pool. Once he got his PJ's on (at 2:00 in the afternoon), he requested a show and a banana.

Less than 5 minutes later, I looked downstairs and saw this:

Tune in tomorrow for "Don't call it a VACATION (part 2)" in which I'll explain the amazing power of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, reasons why green frosting isn't a great idea, the joy of hot rocks, and why potty chairs aren't unacceptable in a minivan.

Baby Linus

What fun it was to arrive home from the lake to find out that Amanda and Jeremy's baby BOY has arrived! Ben will be seriously disappointed to find out that his gender prediction record is no longer perfect and that the baby isn't green. (When Ben first figured out that Amanda was going to have a baby, she had on a green shirt. After that, anytime we talked about the baby, he'd say, "Dr. Amanda's green baby.")

Linus Caleb was born Thursday, July 19th at 4:16pm. He weighed 8 lbs. and 13 oz. and was 19.5 inches long. Mom, Dad, and Baby are healthy and tired (just as they should be!).

Something other than horrible rashes

Our garden has finally produced its first crop of the season! On Friday, I went out to do some weeding and found 3 huge cucumbers ready to be picked. The tomato plants are also loaded with tomatoes, although most are still green. Ben and I did find one red tomato, which he promptly ate. We also discovered that our garden (more specifically the cucumber plant) is home to a nest of 3 baby bunnies. After having Don confirm that they were indeed bunnies and not some sort of scary rat/mouse/squirrel critters, I decided they could stay until they are old enough to hop away. When that happens, they will be promptly served a Mr. McGregor's eviction special (not in a murder kind of way.. more of a cover the hole and make sure they know we have dogs kind of way).

"Mommy! This is a 'buh-ma-toe' from our garden!"

"Mmmm! This is a 'dood' buh-ma-toe. I love it!"

Baby Jack (Wineinger)

Congratulations to Jill, Ryan, and big brother, Riley on the arrival of Jack Ryan Wineinger. The new little guy is causing some confusion at our house since we already know a "Baby Jack (Hancock)". Ben has sorted this out in the following way...

Big Baby Jack lives with Kristin, Nate and Will. (ironic since "big baby Jack" weighs only slightly more than a feather.)

Little Baby Jack (or New Little Baby Jack) lives with Jill, Ryan, and Riley.

Here are the details on Little Baby Jack:
Born: 6/30/07 at 12:30pm
Weight: 8 lbs. 5 oz.
Everyone is doing well.

Quote from Riley and Jack's blog: "But all is good today, and we are already resting peacefully at home!" (posted July 1st at 6:49pm).

(Clearly, Jill is a rare combination of SuperWoman and SuperFreak.)